Soak the white bread in the milk until softened, about 5 minutes.
Add it to a bowl along with all the remaining ingredients except the butter.
Shape into four large or eight small patties and refrigerate for one hour or more.
Heat the butter over medium-high heat and a 12-inch skillet when the foam subsides, cook the crab cakes until lightly browned on both sides, turning once, very gently.